Greetings from Hyderabad!

Our Hyderabad experience is a week old, and we think it’s safe to say that things here happen very differently and are definitely a lot slower. We’ve been concentrating on taking a deep breath and relaxing about it, as we’re convinced that India is not going to change for our sakes!

For the first three days in Hyderabad we stayed in a hotel while shopping for a few vitals before moving into our new home. The shops here aren’t as we know it, with lots of shopping malls and all the necessary shops under one roof – they are spread all over the city. And many of the roads in Hyderabad don’t have names, or they have numbers, e.g. Road no 9, which don’t necessarily follow in a logical order. Our poor driver had a hard time finding the shops, most of which we only had a name and maybe an address!

There is one shop called Q-Mart, which sells food and other essentials especially for expats. It’s not very big and rather expensive, but definitely a lifeline. On our first visit there we were very excited to find Ceres fruit juice, fresh from South Africa, and fitted as much as possible into our basket. Apparently Q-Mart doesn’t stock the same of each product every month, so if you spot your favourite brands, best you fill up your trolley.

Website

We have a website with photos and information that we will update from time to time.

Please check out http://www.hyd.co.za

House nr 8-2-293 / 82 / L / 28/A, MLA Colony, Road no. 12, Banjara Hills, Hyderabad

Yes, this is our new address! Moving into the house on Monday, 25 February, we found the place covered in dust. The government decided to start building a public garden right next to our house. Although that made my allergies kick in almost instantly, we are very happy in our new home.

As our two dogs require us to live in a house instead of an apartment, we did two days of house hunting while in Hyderabad in December 2007. The house was chosen because the garden was big enough for the dogs and because it was the smallest and cheapest available at the time and reasonably close to Shriram Life, where Theo’s new office is. However, according to SA standards, the house is not so small and definitely not cheep! We also spent just over 10 minutes in the house in December, and, while travelling to India, we realised we actually had no clue as to its real condition!

We have the occasional power outage, which makes us feel close to home. Important things like toilets also break and can stay broken for a month before they’re repaired, and we have problems with no hot water and the overall water supply (decent water pressure is becoming a distant memory …). Furthermore we don’t get much sleep. Cars hoot in our street in the middle of the night and around 20 stray dogs meet up about three times a night in the public garden-to-be next to our house for serious and loud discussions. However, in general we believe that we should be quite comfortable in our new home.

About Indians and Italians

In the house we found three workers – all hoping that we’d adopt them once we’ve settled. The two men have worked for expats before – mainly as watchmen and gardeners, and the third one, a woman, is the wife of the one man. It’s clear that her husband convinced her to work for us for extra income – but what is also clear to us, is that she’s not in the mood for housework, and every half hour we find Estella sitting somewhere, sipping tea! After given a chore to do, we hear her having words with her husband, Raju, and in the end he ends up doing the work.

Raju is an interesting character. He has very peculiar mannerisms, utters high-pitched, almost incomprehensible sentences when he’s upset and promotes himself as an Italian cook. He used to be a gardener and a guard, but has also shown his skills as a cleaner and behind the stove.

His former employers were a couple of Italian men who taught him a few Italian recipes. Two of his Italian masters, as he calls them, were still living in a flat in Hyderabad the past week before going back to Italy. Raju was desperate to introduce us to them so that his services could be sold to us. And so, after being assured by Raju that his Italian masters are expecting us for coffee early on our first Saturday morning in Hyderabad, we were taken to their flat – only to find two dear, very polite, but very surprised men who’ve just woken up and didn’t expect guests at all! Nevertheless, Raju got us around the dining room table and started serving Italian coffee and biscuits so that we could start talking business – with Raju listening to every word, of course.

The sense of humour with which Domenico and Gino approached Hyderabad is truly inspiring. After our “arranged” coffee date, we had three dinners together, where they shared their Indian experiences with us and gave us valuable tips. We were sad to see them leave for Italy.

Along with Emil and Hanna Boeke, who have been doing a lot for us and are playing a vital role in preparing us for life in India, Dominic and Gino made our first week in Hyderabad a positive and memorable one, and we hope to see them again when they come for occasional work-related visits.

Raju and Alex, the night guard, have been working seven days a week so far – with Raju running the house, wanting to cook every breakfast, lunch and dinner for us and managing the rest of the staff, and Alex doing some gardening at night or asking if he can help in the house when he’s bored.

Raju also sleeps in a room next to the house and it feels as if we haven’t had one private moment since we’ve moved in here. He and Alex are clearly bored and can’t just sit and watch the gate, so during those times they see it as their duty to keep us company – even at ten o’clock at night! Raju used to call me “Miesieeees”, which ended on a very high tone. Not sure whether I’ve been upgraded or downgraded in the meantime, but these days I’m “Marram”.

Language is a problem, and ever so often we get the wobble of the head along with a “yes” when we’ve asked a question that didn’t require a “yes” or a “no”, but something with more substance. This is very frustrating. However, Raju and Alex look quite capable and very willing to do whatever we require from them – once they understand what that is. Just not so sure what to do with Estella yet …

Cujo and Kahn arrives

After expecting our two furry children to arrive on Monday, the kennels in Jozi informed us that the vet didn’t want to sign off on some of the forms they’d sent in, and that we’d have to wait until Wednesday to see them.

But before we could fetch the dogs, we were informed on Tuesday that we first had to print and take along to the airport a very important form, which was to be sent to us once the dogs arrived in Mumbai at around 0:30 Wednesday morning. They were expected to arrive in Hyderabad at around 5:00 that morning. Firstly, we didn’t have a printer, so Theo spent Tuesday afternoon frantically arranging to borrow a printer from Shriram so that we could print that form. Then we waited … 0:30 became 4:00, and still no email.

4:30: Theo starts phoning the agent in Mumbai who arranged the dogs’ trip and was supposed to sort out the paperwork required in India.

5:00: Theo finally gets hold of the guy, just to be told that the dogs missed their flight to Hyderabad and would now be put on the 6:00 flight.

9:00: Very tired after a night of no sleep and very stressed because we still haven’t received The Form, we phone again. Several times. And then the news: Kahn’s cage was too big for the aeroplane, and they have to fly with a different airline. Only problem is, no flights have pressurised compartments with oxygen until that afternoon, and they are now on the 16:00 flight. Our poor dogs.

17:00: After several conversations between the agent who promises that he had sent The Form a thousand times and Theo who can see that no form had arrived in his Inbox, we decide to get in the car and go and rescue our dogs. (To date no form has arrived via fax or email. We gave two different email addresses and two different fax numbers to be sure we get that form!)

We directed a seemingly unsuspecting driver to the airport to be reunited with the rest of our family. On arrival at the airport, the driver didn’t know where the “Cargo” section was (we suspect he has never heard the word “cargo” uttered before) and after dropping us off in front of the airport, he drove off to look for parking.

After trying for 15 minutes to get hold of one official who’d heard of the “Cargo” section, we found one soul who actually seemed to know what’s going on in her workplace. We were told to go back to the main road outside the airport to find it approximately 1,5 km away from the airport. As the driver’s cellphone was suddenly off, we decided to do the trip by foot. At around 18:30, after two kilometres through a very dodgy area and then on a dirt road that lead through what looked like the city’s dumping grounds, with smoke coming from heaps of burnt-out garbage, we finally found the place – and two very tired, smelly and dehydrated dogs, tucked away in fit-to-size cages.

Many phone calls later the driver eventually pitched looking very surprised at the sight of his two additional passengers. He didn’t look too pleased either – but we couldn’t care less. It was a bloody long Wednesday.

Staff meets dogs

Raju, Alex and Estella were very excited to hear that two dogs would also arrive at the house. But their excitement was short lived. Being protective and mistrusting by nature, Kahn immediately warned Raju and Alex not to get too close to him. Cujo also wasn’t too pleased with them at first. The next too days turned out to be quite eventful with dogs chasing staff around the house and Raju’s occasional high-pitched “Miesieeees!” and “Marram!” when he believes the end has arrived. Alex also wasn’t worth much. Instead of guarding the gate, he locked himself in Raju’s room.

But Raju’s almost motherly nature had a positive effect. “No biting, only walking”, was his phrase when slowly approaching Kahn, and Kahn seemed okay with that. Over the next few days I couldn’t understand why especially Kahn was lying in the scullery, sleeping almost the whole day – until Raju revealed the secret. As soon as he and Kahn became comfortable with each other, Raju took our poor big dog with the pretty bad hip dysplasia for a 2 km walk every morning at 7!

Alex, still shaken up by the dogs, is very stressed at the moment. But his approach is very wrong and he doesn’t listen to advice. To peep through the windows when the dogs are inside, chanting “Khaaaaan” in a trembling voice, freaks them and us out completely. And when Kahn sees him, he goes for him, leaving Alex jumping around and looking as pale as a ghost (and we’re almost certain that Kahn has a sly grin on his face …)

We are however confident that we will unite him and Kahn within a few weeks – after all, this is India where everyone lives together in peace and harmony.

Our environment

We have seen a lot of poverty and people with physical disabilities – everything on our doorstep. But the people are generally very polite, humble and have a strong sense of culture. The women’s clothes are beautiful and their colours simply stunning. And the food is good. Raju’s Italian and Indian cooking is tasty, and he is very serious about making his food “no paaisy; only tasty” (not spicy; just tasty). And so far we’ve been healthy and our stomachs happy.

Life in India and Hyderabad

People are very friendly by nature and want to please. Hence the word “no” is a foreign concept and people say what they think you want to hear, rather than saying things upfront, e.g.,

Q: “When is xyz going to be fixed?”

A: “Today sir. Maybe tomorrow.”

The above Q&A have been uttered in several cases since we’ve arrived (and yes relating to the same thing that was going to be fixed …)!

But eventually things do happen - and it is important to keep this in mind.

India is a country of contradictions. People are really friendly and go out of their way to help each other – except when they climb into a car, on a motorcycle, in a three-wheeler, bicycle or something in any shape or form they can get into on the road. Then they look out just for themselves – stuff the rest.

But in all this chaos (blaring hooters, etc.) they remain calm and relaxed. And when the (quite frequent) bump, scratch or light accident occurs, they seem to throw their hands in the air, look at each other, utter something in each other’s direction and continue on their way (unlike the western approach of blood pressure shooting up, fist fights, tail gaiting and other “civilised” practices).

In many ways India’s unique way of blending western influence, while keeping the spirit and traditions of India intact, is amazing.

They have

• their own cinema and entertainment (which is a blend of modern influences and traditional elements)
• colours and clothes that are bright, beautiful and truly Indian. It is really a sight to see people dressed in bright and friendly colours.
• family that forms the cornerstone of their lives. Often the whole family sleeps in one room – partly because they all live in one room. However, it seems that even wealthier people with multiple rooms still prefer to all sleep in one room.
• mostly arranged marriages (and a divorce rate that is nowhere close to the high levels in the West).
• a sense of morality that seems to have come from ages ago. People are generally good, don’t harm others and help others easily.

Also we tend to think that things are happening slowly, but it’s often only the case when we concentrate on a small area or a single issue. We met a man from Haiti on Sunday who has lived in Hyderabad for the last four years. He told us that he saw a village turn into a city – and when you look around, you can see that it’s true.

The number of newly-built buildings is astonishing – almost as astonishing as the number of buildings still under construction.

It is also easy to point out that the infrastructure supporting this development is lacking (e.g. roads), but Hyderabad (and we assume India) is coping with it. Another country could have planned and developed better, but it would probably have taken 40 instead of four years to develop the city.

India is amazing and incredible. But it can also be annoying and depressing for the exact same things that make it incredible!

We have a lot to learn from India, but we also have some knowledge to give to it. It is an ancient civilisation, but a new country. They have only recently accepted the concepts of opening markets and some of the regulations and rules seem crazy – but it might not have been too different from other countries moving from a socialised society to a capitalist one.

Surviving in India

It is clear to us that, to be able to survive here, one needs lots of patience, be open-minded and embrace India and the Indian way.

To expect that India and her citizens will behave like other countries will merely lead to extreme emotional distress. Anger here accomplishes very little and only impacts negatively on your life. It is better to smile and understand that things happen when they happen. Force or forcefulness will not make it happen any quicker. Praise and a few rupees seem to have a much better result.

One also needs friends and family to visit to keep in touch with one’s own culture and roots (and to bring the max duty free wine allowance with them …)

“Dhanyavaad”** for reading up to the end!

Until you visit or read our next update.

Namaste

Marga & Theo

** “Dhanyavaad” means “thank you” in Hindi. And Namaste is a Hindi greeting - used for hello and goodbye.