After almost 4 weeks I finally made it back to my gorgeous wife and beautiful daughter. It is the last time I’ll be away from them for more than a week. I did not realise how traumatic the seperation would be.

After spending the first month with Kara I was filled with self-confidence (gathered by reading many books) and it was easy for me to handle her, calm her and soothe her to sleep. After the long break I found my daughter almost 30% bigger than when I left her (and my wife back in her pre-pregnancy shape!) and she didn’t want to be held in the same way anymore and I had to re-connect with her.

I arrived on Saturday (13th) afternoon and was fumbling my way through trying to get back into things with my duo of girls. On Sunday I was treated to an early Father’s Day lunch and Kara accompanied us of course. During lunch Kara became hungry, but Marga had prepared a bottle for the occassion. With fond memories of our previous bottle encounter, I scooped up Kara and the bottle and within a few seconds she started to blissfully empty the bottle. Thereafter I rocked her to sleep and we both knew that father and daughter had rekindled their bond. (I think the picture says it all)

After a few terrific (but cold) days in Cape Town we had to head back to India. Honestly we were terrified about the 20+ hour journey ahead, after hearing so many horror stories of children crying through entire flights. So with almost a 100kg of baggage (and even heavier hearts) we departed for India (via Dubai) on Wednesday.

At Cape Town International Airport our first stop was at the SAA lounge where we directed to the “Kids’ Room”. Here we had time to relax with Kara before our long journey started.

Kara had such a great time that she decided to take a nap in her dad’s arms by the time we were seated in the flight. She slept straight through take off and this peaceful start to our journey was a signal as to how the rest of our trip would evolve. She was a complete angel during the whole flight.

First Class was empty so the kind staff of Emirates made it available to Kara and Marga for Kara’s meal times. We also had time for some in-flight fun and games with Kara.

When we arrived in Dubai, Marga and Kara were mobbed by fellow female passengers on the airport shuttle bus to stare and marvel at the amazing baby that travelled so well. At the airport we headed straight for the hotel because of our long lay-over.

At the hotel Kara was particularly excited and she interacted enthusiastically by talking (in her own language) and waving at us. She was so cute that it took us quite a while to drag our weary bodies to bed. Eventually we did get some sleep before our next flight. Here are a few scenes from Dubai:

My trusty backpack has accompanied me to many places in the world, but travelling with our new extended family required a “new look” for the bag.

Our second flight (from Dubai to Hyderabad) went just as smooth. Cumulative (over both flights) Kara cried for maybe a minute - only to signal when she was ready for her next meal. She was such an angel and I don’t think any baby has ever travelled as well as Kara did. (Her mom and dad is terribly proud of and chuffed with their daughter!).

When we arrived in Hyderabad Kara got to test drive her new car seat.

When we arrived at our house our staff made it very clear and visible how much they missed Marga and longed to welcome Neha (as Kara will mostly be known in India) to their home in India. They decorated the place spectacularly.

We are still settling in here in Hyderabad and we’re trying to find our rhytm as a new family. Kara in particular seems to be excited to be here, but she views sleep as only getting in the way of exploring her new world.

Here are a few pictures of our “new” life in Hyderabad:

Playtime is never a problem - Kara is so cute and excited that it is really fun to play with her.

We’ve also been for a family stroll around the neighbourhood. (I love the picture with the neighbourhood cow!)

So the Indian adventure continues - with a new star to spice up the show.

Pir milenge

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It’s been three weeks since Theo left for Hyderabad again, and Kara and I miss him terribly! The day before he went, he left one of his worn T-shirts for Kara (so that she can remember his smell), and somehow (although she also thinks nothing of throwing up on it!) she seems to be calmer when I put it in her bed.

He missed most of the pregnancy because of us being worlds apart. To contribute in his absence, he bought and studied a number of books on babies, raising girls and even sleep training.

It was great to have Theo a little to ourselves the month right after Kara’s birth. The little missy and her daddy bonded very well as she loved falling asleep on his broad chest, and it was beautiful to see the relationship between them unfold. He even looked after her wardrobe. Being a rather tiny baby, Kara drowned in her new-born clothes. Theo decided his baby needs something that fits properly and came home with a couple of vests and very cute babygrows for tiny babies, which she wore almost every other day until recently, when she finally fitted into her new-born and 0-3 months outfits. Read the rest of this entry »

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Its now 3 weeks - for this family of 3!

Kara has become even cuter, but her taste for the “night life” has also evolved. She loves entertaining her parents between 1am and 7am.

When she is not sleeping - she is in motion. She communicates, waves, kicks and crawls/slithers (mostly in search of a food source …)
She has a very healthy appetite. In Marga’s words : “She drinks like twins!”

Either her yellow tint has diminished, or we have become more used to it because it is not bothering us as much. We are still keeping our fingers crossed that it will disappear soon.

But you don’t really want to read stories - everyone has been asking us to be more forthcoming with the pictures. So here are a few of Kara in motion:
(If you click on any picture a bigger version will appear)

Striking a pose & the distant look:
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It was the best of times, it was the …. - no actually it has simply been the best of times.

We have fallen in love with our daughter and our first week with her has been magical.
And a big wave from us and Kara (see below) for all the well wishes, emails, phone calls, flowers, gifts and support:

Our status check after 1 week:
Sleep-deprived - yes
Worried - yes
Feeling incompetent - yes
Having the time of our lives - absolutely

Our biggest worry is that Kara left the hospital with a nice yellow tint - jaundice (”geelsug”). This is quite common in newborns and fortunately her condition was not severe enough to require time under the lights in hospital, but it does mean that Marga and I (with our years of parenting experience - or not) must “monitor her condition”.
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Today, just after 3 pm, Kara Neha Scheffler arrived into our lives and hearts.

She made a grand, but unexpected entrance today because we did not expect her so soon, but already we cannot imagine life without her.

20 minutes before we left for the hospital:

Fist things first - so where did we come up with the names?
Kara has many roots and meanings - just Google it to see how many!
It means “beloved”, “friend”, “sweet melody”, “pure maiden”, “love”, “the beloved one”, “pure”. All of these apply to our beautiful angel.
It is also a strong name.

Neha is a beautiful Indian name that we chose because of the undeniable connection that our daughter will have to India.
Neha means “cherished”, “beauty”, “love” and “affection”. (It also means “rain” in Sanskrit). It describes how we feel about our little girl.

Also not only does her names have deep and impressive meanings - they are lovely cool names.
(We will be calling her Kara.)

Here is our family: (Have you ever seen a mother look so beautiful an hour after giving birth!?)
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As mentioned in an earlier blog - Nelius and I joined the Hyderabad expat trek to Aurangabad.
(Hyderabad is known for being the best in India for a few things, but two lesser known facts are that it has the best airport in India and the best expat society!)

It was an incredible journey of exploration, that departed from the Secunderabad station in Hyderabad. Roughly 60 firangi (foreigners) taking the 10 hour train ride to Aurangabad.

The train ride was a long interesting experience - good conversation and red wine flowed while delicious snacks were consumed. We also enjoyed a biryani train meal and marvelled at the bathroom with a hole that drops straight onto the tracks!
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The oscar studded movie - Slumdog Millionaire is making its way around the globe.

It is a good movie, with an entertaining story filled with emotion. It shows some of the best and worsts sights in India and it evoked a lot of different reactions from different corners of the world.

Don’t worry - this blog won’t spoil the story for those of you who still haven’t seen the movie. (But seriously it is time to go see it!).

My first “encounter” with Slumdog Millionaire was when I picked up a newspaper while in a plane in India. I saw an “ad” that covered a third of the backpage titled “Don’t go see Slumdog Millionaire”. It was written by an influential columnist in India and he expressed anger about India being “exploited” for the entertainment of the west. As with a lot of things in India - the ad accomplished the opposite of what it intended - it convinced me to go and see the movie (this was long before the Oscars) to find out what the fuss is all about.

So here is my review and critique:
The movie is an enjoyable one and I recommend it. The scenery it shows (including the slums) are not over the top at all and probably quite close to the truth. Nothing in the scenery or background shocked me, on the contrary I felt quite “at home”. The one thing about the movie that did “upset” me a bit is the way in which poor Indian people are portrayed. They are basically shown as dishonest, untrustworthy people that will rob you at the first opportunity. The movie’s concept of a “real Indian experience” irked me a bit… (Maybe I’m putting it a bit strongly, but I would appreciate your thoughts on the matter - please leave comments on this post.)

I have a completely different perception and after living in India for more than a year now, completely different experiences as well. There are exceptions to every rule, but if I had to capture my view on people in India (especially the poor) in a few words - I would say they are friendly, honest people. They will invite you into their homes and share the little food they have without expecting anything in return. I have always felt save, even (/especially) when walking through poor areas with an expensive camera and a full wallet. Read the rest of this entry »

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Order in the world (and in my heart) has been restored. After 2½ months I have been reunited with my beautiful wife.

I have a number of blog posts that are stuck in my head, but I simply haven’t found time to get them onto the blog. My apologies, especially after so many people nominated the blog for the SA blog awards. I will try to catch up over the next couple of weeks. (I just need to sort through a few thousand photos!).

I was very fortunate to not be completely alone in India - I had a visitor for 2 weeks. (Enter Nelius stage left …)

My colleague / friend Nelius visited India to assist us with the implementation of actuarial software and it was quite entertaining to re-experience India through someone else’s eyes. Some of the really weird and wonderful things in India have become “normal” for me and it was great to rediscover how unusual India is through the “are you serious?” expression on someone else’s face.

Arrival in Mumbai

This was Nelius’ first visit to India so I armed him with a few “travelers tips” for India. I was in Mumbai for a conference, so we decided to meet up in Mumbai and travel onwards from there.
I think he was happy to find a familiar face outside the airport in Mumbai:

I had a day to show Nelius some of the hot spots in Mumbai, and he had one day solo to explore the rest of Mumbai and the Elephanta island and caves.


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I had a delightful visit in Delhi 2 weeks (which has just flown by) ago.

I attended a workshop with my colleagues in Delhi and stayed on to do some wandering (or “ghoomna” as the locals would say) in Delhi. I’ve heard interesting and colourful stories about the narrow streets of Chandi Chowk in Old Delhi. It is a very old part of town, but with an overwhelming number of colours, sounds and odours intertwining to create a unique place.

Accompanied by Gerhard (my colleague from SA who is based in Delhi), Jolene (his wife) and their guests as well as the architect who is working on our Delhi office, I was ready explore what Chandi Chowk had to offer. Bad planning meant that my camera battery died just as I arrived there, but my bad luck soon turned into a golden opportunity as Gerhard handed me his Nikon D80. I fell in love both with Old Delhi and the camera soon after that.

I drifted through the narrow streets feeling like a hybrid between a paparazzi and a National Geopgrahic photographer as I aimed at the locals and sights.

And so the chronicles of the akhela aadmi in Chandi Chowk begins:

First we stopped at Jamma Masjid (next to Chandi Chowk) to meet up with our friends and colleagues.
It is a great place to visit, but given that I have been there before I now only go to dress up:

We were also accompanied by Mr Mahesh who grew up in Chandi Chowk. He now works for Gerhard’s architect. I assume his English was not perfect, because when he found out that I could understand (some) Hindi, I got a personalised tour in Hindi!

So into the narrow streets of Chandi Chowk we went, weaving our way through pedestrians, bicycles, motorcycles, cycle rickshaws, hand carts, dogs and occasionally a cow or two:
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My friend Pieter points out that the blog has become very soppy and soapy.

Having covered romance, heartache, pregnancy, foreign languages and men dressing in women’s clothes - I think that all the core elements of a soap drama have been covered. So, let’s get back to talking about India.

One of the interesting things in India is “the man in the lift”. A large number of lifts do not only come equipped with buttons to select your desired floor, but also with someone to push the buttons for you.

I have almost daily interaction with the “lift man” because of the one at our office building. Unfortunately he does not speak any English or Hindi. He only speaks Telegu, so our interaction is limited to hand gestures, pointing and facial expressions.

Here is our “lift man”:
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